You be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground

Have you ever felt that way ?

          Have you ever felt this way , comparing yourself to others and realizing how much of a failure you are ? How you disappoint your parents and how you try so hard but just end up failing ? Then starting to feel insecure and feel that everyone else is so much better than you and your self esteem just plummets . Then anger kicks in when you realize how hard you're trying but end up failing and you feel pissed at everything . Then sadness overcomes anger and you feel sad on how much of a failure you are . Well , you're not the only one , I feel this way sometimes . It's shitty , I never know when I am going to be able to get over it or when can I feel good enough but I just hope it's sometime soon .

How I came to know the lord

          So I'm going to talk about how I came to know the lord :) My curiosity in christianity started when I first asked my friend what was the difference between catholics and christians , after he answered my question he invited me to his church . Well , you see , my family doesn't really have a religion and I was afraid what my parents would say when I told them I was going to go to my friend's church . I asked them anyway and surprisingly they said okay . I went to my friend's church and everyone was so friendly and open to a newcomer like me and I felt welcomed there . From then on I started to attend the church weekly and even went for a christian conference . I remember while at the christian conference I told god , " I'm going to try my best to be the christian you want me to be , please help me through this journey that I'm going to take , I'm going to place all my faith in you and I hope I would not be disappointed ." well something like that and from then on my faith grew and now I'm a christian , I've made many mistakes and sinned against god but god is a merciful god and he will forgive the mistakes and sins that we have made . This is my story on how I came to know the lord and I hope it'll encourage you people . There is a collection of my favorite verses above , feel free to check it out :)

John 14:27"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Biggest regret so far

          So this is my first blog post , can't really find the things to talk about but I'm gonna talk about my biggest regret in my life so far . Well , my biggest regret so far is telling a girl I like her back when I really don't , I know this sounds extremely dumb of me and makes me look like a jerk . The reason why I did that is because I was afraid of rejecting someone . I know how it felt like to be rejected and I din't really want the girl to feel the same way as I did . Well I din't really think of the consequences of my actions and we slowly got together without me even realizing it and not long after we were saying I love you to each other . After realizing what I had done too late , I forced myself to love her the way she loved me but even after 3 months of trying very hard I failed . Love can never be forced , "Love is like the wind , you can't see it but you can feel it." - Nicholas Sparks , a walk to remember . I broke up with her in the end and it was the most harsh thing I have ever done , I talked to her on the phone and broke up with her through the phone even when she was having a difficult time , I chose to leave her when she needed me the most . I thought through it long and hard and chose to do it for the fact that it was better to break her heart now and cause less pain than to continue letting her think that I love her but actually don't and break her heart even more in the future . I did not want to lead her on anymore . This is my biggest regret so far , and I hope anyone reading this will learn from it . I am sorry if this makes me look like a jerk , it is a mistake that I have learnt from and will never repeat it and I hope she will be able to forgive me . "To err is human , to forgive , divine ."- Alexander Pope , An Essay on Criticism .